Growing Pains

I came home from work today and found a toe peeking at me.

It might be time to move up to the next size...

A Celebration To Remember

You may recall that Mommy’s Only Christmas Wish was for Baby to sleep through the night. We had the best intentions to wean Baby from his middle-of-the-night milkfest, but he pre-empted our plans with an ear infection. I have to admit that his defensive strategy is more effective than that of our beloved Believeland Browns.

Despite the lack of sleep and slightly grumpy baby, we had one of the best holiday celebrations that I can remember. This Christmas season touched me in a way that I had always hoped for but never achieved. As a new mother, I felt just a little bit closer to the Virgin Mary as I contemplated the birth we celebrated. I could easily imagine the mixed feelings of distress and joy she must have felt as she gave birth to the Savior of the world in a stable far from home. I also enjoyed the magic of Baby’s first Christmas, which was everything that I hoped it would be.

And in the midst of this celebration, I received a call that should have ruined the festivities.

My grandmother died on Christmas Day.

At any other time, the news would have been a numbing shock, but this felt somehow appropriate. I have no doubts that my grandmother died with love for Christ in her heart because she shared that love daily with the friends and family that surrounded her during her lifetime. It only seems appropriate that she would die on the day that our Savior came into this world to save her.

The news of her passing was also sobering for me as I realized that my last grandparent has died. That generation is gone from our family now, but the next generation has arrived to fill the void that they have left behind. They are gone from this world, but their legacy remains.

Mommy's Only Christmas Wish

I love to sleep.

Ever since I can remember, I have loved sleep. I can sleep anywhere and anytime. I can sleep in a car, on a plane, in a movie theater, anywhere. I even slept during labor between contractions only an hour before my son was born. I wouldn’t believe it myself, but witnesses say I was even snoring.

So you can only imagine my agony since I haven’t been able to sleep through the night for the past 9 months, 2 weeks and 5 days.

Baby loves to nurse. He battles the bottle all day at daycare and has never drank more than 9 ounces a day. Since he started solid foods, he is only drinking 6 ounces a day. You would think that he would drive his daycare teachers crazy with his antics, but they say he is darn cute, so that is his saving grace.

Since he doesn’t drink all day, he is very excited to see Mommy after work. He nurses constantly in the evenings and usually wakes up at least once a night to nurse again. This hasn’t been so bad because, like I said, I can sleep anywhere. I usually sit in the rocking chair in the nursery to feed him and we both fall asleep there. I’m only actually awake for a couple of minutes, so life hasn’t been so bad for the last few months.

Until now.

Baby has decided that he loves the middle-of-the-night nursing so much that he should do it more often. He is waking up several times a night and refusing to go back to the crib.

I’ll admit that I let this kid get away with a lot because I have Working Mommy Guilt, but I’m at the end of my rope. Mommy is really cranky right now.

Since Daddy doesn’t like Mommy to be really cranky, we have decided that it is time to wean Baby from the middle-of-the-night milkfest. No more num-nums after 11:00pm. Daddy will be waking up with Baby and offering only a bottle of water beginning tonight.

Please pray for us. I really need this to work!

13 Things I Never Knew

I think I’ve been fantasizing about becoming a mom for my entire adult life. The minute I first looked into my husband’s eyes, I must have thought, “I need to have this man’s baby.”

Since we were married 8 years ago and our son is only 9 months old, you can only imagine how many days ticked by filled with the anticipation of a baby. Since God gave up trying to teach me patience a long time ago, I had to find a way to keep myself busy while we were waiting.

I started bargain hunting for baby paraphernalia. I bought undershirts, sleepers, socks, shoes, blankets, toys, medicine-dropper pacifiers, baby hangers, sheets, curtains, rugs, and board books. I found like-new strollers and bouncer seats at garage sales. We had so much baby stuff before our baby was conceived that I created a baby gear inventory spreadsheet to keep track of all the stuff in storage.

As if that wasn’t enough, I started reading. I read baby books, birthing books and breastfeeding books. By the time the egg and sperm met for the first time, I was a pregnancy and birthing expert.

Little did I know that I still had a lot to learn about motherhood. On the slim chance that there is another woman on this planet that is as neurotic and anal as I am, these are the 13 things that I never knew about motherhood until I had a baby of my own:

1. Just because you are 4 cm dilated, don’t assume the baby is on it’s way anytime soon. (don’t believe that, read my birth story)

2. Even with all the breastfeeding books I read, I never knew that breastfeeding hurts until I spent the first four weeks of my son’s life crying in agony every time he latched on.

3. Some babies don’t like baby lotion. If you got 6 bottles of Johnson’s Baby lotion at your baby shower, chances are good that your baby will be the one that hates lotion.

4. Diapers leak, and I’m not talking about pee.

5. Babies change their clothes more often than a teenage girl getting ready for her first date.

6. Toys are a waste of time because babies prefer junk that is lying around the house.

7. The baby that is NEVER sick will be sick on the one day out of 365 that you absolutely can not stay home from work.

8. Teething happens long before you see the tooth.

9. Your life revolves around naptime. If you dare to interfere with the nap schedule, prepare for fireworks.

10. There is no need for birth control because babies make darn sure you never find an opportunity to have sex again.

11. Everyone that said your baby would sleep through the night soon was LYING!

12. There is no child on the planet as beautiful and as intelligent as your own.

13. Motherhood is the best job on earth!

For more lucky 13 lists, go check out Thursday Thirteen!

Ghost of Christmas Past

For this week’s edition of Works For Me Wednesday, sponsored by Rocks in My Dryer, I’d like to share a holiday tradition that I swiped from a former co-worker. I know that WFMW has been swamped with holiday tradition ideas, but I’m too sentimental not to share this one with you.

Growing up, I remember decorating our tree with familiar ornaments every year. Each one held special memories of Christmas seasons of the past. There were the delicate, lace snowflakes that my Aunt made by hand and the old gold garland that I wrapped around my head to pretend that I had long, flowing Rapunzel hair.

After I got married, the Christmas decorations in our new home didn’t hold any sentimental memories for me. It took a couple years to accumulate items that held special meaning, like the “Our First Christmas 1999” ornament that we received as a very thoughtful wedding gift, or our tacky Niagara Falls candy cane ornaments that we bought for Bonus Daughters while we were on our honeymoon, or the Grinch ornaments that Bonus Daughters got in their McDonald’s Happy Meals and demanded to hang on the tree.

Since I’m such a sentimental creature, I started a new tradition for Baby last year while I was pregnant so he will never have that first Christmas without the old familiar memories. We have started an ornament collection just for him. Each Christmas season, we will give him one ornament that has special meaning. The ornament will include the year in which it was received. At the beginning of each Christmas season, we will get out his ornament collection and reminisce about the year he received each one.

When Baby gets married, we will give him his ornament collection to decorate his first Christmas tree with his new family. As he decorates his tree, he will share memories of his childhood with his new wife. Then, he will go on to create new memories filled with love and joy.

Someone hand me a tissue to wipe my eyes, please…

That’s What Works For Me!

What's My Name?

I was dropping Baby off at daycare this morning and I must have lost one of my earrings because a little girl found it and was hopping up and down frantically trying to get my attention.

Exasperated, she finally hollered,

"Hey, David's Mom!!!!!!!"

That was the first moment that I realized there is an entire community of little people out there that don't know that I am Dawn and don't care. I am simply David's Mom and that's good enough for them.

That's good enough for me, too!

I love my new identity.

Hair Raising Weather in the Midwest

Snow Day

Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer is collecting snow day haiku today. As I read the comments from her readers, I started fantasizing about the happy days ahead for Baby.

Eating ice cream for the first time.

Falling asleep on Mommy’s lap.

Using his new lunch box for the first time on his first day of Kindergarten.

Hoping for snow days.

Waiting for Santa to arrive on Christmas Eve.

Going on his first train ride.

Counting the days until his next birthday.

Pretending to be a pirate or a dinosaur or a fireman.

Watching all six Star Wars movies with Daddy in one day.

Swimming in the big kid pool during hot summer days.

It’s great to be a kid, but it’s even better to be a Mom because you have an opportunity to really appreciate the beauty of these moments and cherish the memories they create.

Thank God

I was searching the internet this morning for some graphics that I need for a report at work. I googled the term "world health" for images and found a picture that brought tears to my eyes. The photo showed a small baby, bare-chested, ribs clearly visible, a bloated belly, and a mouth wide open in a cry of agony.

I immediately said a prayer begging God to end this child's pain and thanking him for the health of my son. I'm thankful that we can provide for his basic needs. He has food, clothing and shelter through the grace of God. I am thankful that I don't know the pain of watching my child suffer, the pain endured by the mother of the child in the photograph.

It's so easy to take for granted the blessings God has given me. I get so busy worrying about our hectic schedule, household chores, bills, and projects at work that I forget to take time to thank God for the many wonderful things he has done in my life.

If you're as guilty as I am, this is your reminder to say a little prayer today.

WFMW: Bargain Shopping for Baby Online

For this week’s edition of Works For Me Wednesday, sponsored by Rocks in My Dryer, I’d like to share my obsession with bargain hunting. Like many women I know, I have a gene that prohibits me from paying full price for anything. I spend more than a reasonable amount of time surfing the internet in search of the best deals.

It’s no secret that many folks find online shopping more convenient than shopping at brick-and-mortar stores. That certainly isn’t my WFMW tip of the week.

What I do need to share is a website that I stumbled upon this week that is every bargain hunter’s dream. Many online retailers offer a price protection guarantee that allows you to get a refund if any item that you buy drops in price within 30 days of your purchase. The only problem is that you don’t automatically get a refund when the price drops. You are responsible for monitoring the price and you must contact the retailer to request a refund.

That doesn’t seem like it would be worth the hassle, but the Price Protectr website does the hard work for you. When you purchase an item online, you simply register your purchase at this website. For the next 30 days, Price Protector monitors the item you purchased and notifies you via email if the retailer drops the price within 30 days of your purchase. You then have an opportunity to contact the online retailer and request a refund.

I was skeptical at first, but I am now a believer. I am convinced that my 9 month old son NEEDS the Hasbro Tonka Scoot-N-Scoop 3-in-1 Ride On Toy for Christmas. I looked everywhere for this item and most retailers are selling it for $39.99. The best prices I found online were $34.99 at Walmart with free site to store shipping or $34.99 at Amazon with free shipping. I waited for weeks to order this item because saving $5 online didn’t feel good enough to me. I was convinced that this item would go on sale before Christmas, but I started to get nervous when the price didn’t drop. I needed to order in time for delivery before Christmas Day, so I decided to bite the bullet and order at Amazon. I decided the free shipping was a bonus because I didn’t have to drive to the store and I was still saving $5 compared to other prices I had found.

Just for amusement, I registered my purchase at Price Protector. One week later, I got an email that the price had dropped to $20.99. I sent an email to Amazon and they refunded $14 to my credit card within one hour. Hurray!

The next day, I got another email from Price Protector. The price dropped again to $17.50. I sent another email to Amazon and got an additional refund of $3.49.

So, I was able to get a total refund of $17.49 and I saved $11 on shipping because the original purchase price was high enough to qualify for Amazon’s free shipping offer. I saved a total of $28.49 on this toy.

Now, that’s the kind of shopping that makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over.

That’s What Works For Me!

Quote of the Day: Titanic Achievements

A ship in harbor is safe,

but that is not what

ships are built for.

~William Shedd

WFMW:WDIFE Part II

While I was hanging out at Rocks In My Dryer reading all the Works For Me Wednesday posts, I remembered a super-fast recipe that my family loves that I forgot to share. I stole this idea from a recipe card that I received in the mail with one of the zillion free baby stuff packages that we got in those blurry days right after Baby's birth.

Ingredients:

2 cups Chicken, cooked and diced

1 jar Salsa

2 cups Rice

1. Heat chicken and salsa in skillet.

2. Serve over rice.

3. Top with grated cheddar cheese and sour cream (optional)

This dish is so easy, fast, and yummy. How did I let this one slip my mind?

Enjoy!

WFMW:WDIFE

For this week’s edition of Works For Me Wednesday, sponsored by Rocks in My Dryer, I’d like to share my last-minute cooking tips. Be warned, I’m not sharing because I am a culinary master, I’m simply sharing because this is Works-For-Me Wednesday: The What-Do-I-Fix? Edition.

It's 5:15 pm, the kids are hungry, I have a headache, hubby is almost home, and the pantry has three things in it. What do I make?

Honestly, my first choice is to pick up take-out from Kuhar’s Restaurant down the street. Their specialty is homestyle European cooking, including favorites such as Hungarian Ghoulash, Viener Schnitzel, Chicken Paprikash, and Stuffed Cabbage, just to name a few. Since all their dinners average $7 per person and include a veggie, side dish, salad and bread, I’m wondering why we cook at all.

If that’s not an option, Hubby has a recipe that he throws together when we’re short on time and starving. His parents immigrated to the U.S. from Germany and Austria during World War II, so he ate European style foods growing up. As a child, he remembers visiting his Oma in Austria and eating this dish.

Chris’ Famous Knockwurst
Ingredients:

4 Knockwurst

½ Medium White Onion, finely chopped

4 Tbsp Olive Oil

4 Tbsp White Vinegar

1. Remove the skin from the Knockwurst and slice as thinly as humanly possible
2. Layer slices of Knockwurst on a platter
3. Top with finely chopped onion
4. Drizzle with equal parts olive oil and white vinegar
5. Serve

We eat this with European style seedless rye bread. Dip the bread into the olive oil and vinegar, and scoop knockwurst onto the bread. Repeat until the button pops off your pants.

I also like this dish with any type of mustard. We typically serve this with a side of mac-n-cheese and green beans.

It took me a while to grow fond of this new dish, but now That’s What Works For Me!

You Are What You Eat

I was driving to work this morning when I heard the results of a recent study on the radio news. Research has determined that a child is more likely to eat healthy vegetables, such as broccoli and cauliflower, if the child’s mother ate those same vegetables during her pregnancy or while breastfeeding.

I was so excited by this news that I nearly drove through a red light. OK, I admit that I nearly drove through the red light because I was late for work, but I was also excited by the study.

For a couple of minutes, I gloated with pride over the mounds of vegetables that I happily ate during my pregnancy. We won’t discuss my post-pregnancy eating habits here, but I can honestly say that I make it a habit to eat my fruits and vegetables everyday while I’m breastfeeding. Maybe I just don’t eat as much of them as I should…

My glee was short-lived, however, when I contemplated the whole picture. Because there is always more to the story than the results of the research suggests.

Consider this:

If a mother eats broccoli and cauliflower during her pregnancy, it is likely that her normal diet may include a healthy helping of fruits and vegetables. This mother is probably more likely to offer broccoli and cauliflower to her young child than the mother that dined exclusively on Pepsi and Cheetos during her pregnancy.

DUH.

Another fine example of research dollars wasted.

Aren’t we still looking for a cure for cancer?

Dear Santa

Baby’s First Christmas List

Dear Santa,

I’ve been very good this year. Since you can’t compare my behavior to that of years past this Christmas because it is my first of many, I’m asking you to trust me that I’ve been behaving as well as can be expected. I have fulfilled my potential to be a jolly, loving baby. I listen most of the time or just when I feel like it and all the stars are in proper alignment.

For my first Christmas:

I would like my own box of Kleenex because Mommy and Daddy always take the box away from me before I find the bottom. Please bring me a ball pit filled with balls of all shapes and sizes. I have lots of balls, but most of them are lost under the couch. Can you bring me a new credit card? I love the fake cards Mommy and Daddy get in the mail, and I have a used gasoline gift card and an old hotel key card, but I’d like to expand my collection. Mommy and Daddy look so happy when I ignore my expensive toys in favor of free toys. Can I have a walker? Mommy thinks they are dangerous, but I know I could really get around much faster if I had one. I need a roll of tissue paper that they use to cover the exam table at the doctor’s office. I love to play with it, but the doctor always tries to look in my ears while I’m playing and I really hate that.

I also need an alarm clock. Once in awhile, I forget to wake up for my 2:30am feeding and I don’t want Mommy to worry about me.

In case I have forgotten something, please bring me an empty box to keep me busy.
Merry Christmas, Santa!

Love,
Baby

Reason for the Season

For this week’s edition of Works For Me Wednesday, sponsored by Rocks in My Dryer, I’d like to share a brilliant idea that I had for a new family Christmas tradition that could be used to teach young children about the meaning of the holiday. I suppose the term “brilliant” might be an exaggeration, but considering the fact that I’m suffering from Mommy Brain, I’m fairly impressed with my creativity on this one.

For years, we’ve been deprived of the Christmas cookie tradition because Bonus Daughters bake cookies every year with their mother and bestow upon us a 10 pound tray of unnecessary calories every holiday. It just doesn’t make sense to bake more cookies, so I’ve never had the pleasure of baking during the holiday season during my married life. I can’t say that I’ve mourned the loss of this tradition since I’d rather cook than bake, but I don’t want Baby to be deprived of this happy Christmas memory.

Since Bonus Daughters have taken care of the cookie baking for me, I decided to start a new tradition with Baby this year. We are going to bake Birthday cupcakes. On Christmas morning, we will put a birthday candle in each cupcake and sing the Happy Birthday song for Jesus.

Birthday cake and cupcakes are a tradition that a young child can easily relate to and understand. Eating cupcakes for breakfast is definitely a treat and something a young child would look forward to in anticipation. It’s also more fun than choking down stale cornflakes before you are allowed to open any gifts, but that’s a disturbing memory from my childhood that I’m working through in therapy.

I’m hoping this new family tradition will help Baby understand the Reason for the Season and remind us all that we are celebrating the birth of our Savior.

That’s What Works for Me!

Leave a comment and share some of your favorite holiday traditions.

I’d love to hear your suggestions for making our family holidays memorable!

Here, There and Everywhere

As a new parent, I’ve made some important discoveries regarding baby gear:

*The baby weighs 17 pounds and the accompanying baby gear weights 1.7 tons

*Baby gear multiplies in the dark

*Even though Baby has his own bedroom, baby gear will appear in every single room of the house

*Each item of baby gear will only be developmentally appropriate for baby for a maximum of three months

Right now, our house looks like Babies R Us on steroids. In an effort to make space for Mommy and Daddy, Mommy decided to put some of the baby gear that we’re not using anymore into storage. For clarification, storage is not an off-site garage. Storage is not in the basement or the attic. Storage is simply a large, spider-free closet on the second floor of our house.

Mommy gathered up a few items that Baby is not using anymore...

The battery-operated swing that she bought for $10 at a garage sale
...which was later replaced by an A/C powered swing that Mommy and Daddy bought for $120 and Baby refused to use. The exersaucer that Baby loved until he realized that he was confined against his will.
Since Mommy and Daddy started considering Baby #2, just the possibility that the baby gear would be used again allowed Mommy to part with these items that were such strong reminders of Baby’s infancy.

But Daddy protested. Not screaming, hollering, angry protesting. Just quiet, sad, on-the-verge-of-tears protesting.

Daddy is not quite ready to let Baby grow up.

So, the baby gear remains.

Where are we going to put our Christmas tree??

Is That Love?

Is that Love I see in your eyes,

or merely a reflection of my own?

Party Dress

I went shopping on my lunch break today to find a dress

to wear to Hubby’s company holiday party.

This is what I bought:

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have You Seen My Balls?

For this week’s edition of Works For Me Wednesday, hosted by Rocks In My Dryer, I’d like to share one of the many new challenges Baby has presented us with and Daddy’s brilliant solution to the problem.

Baby is addicted to balls. He loves all balls. He does not discriminate. He loves red balls, blue balls, and yellow balls. He loves soft balls and he loves balls that jingle when they roll. But his favorite balls of all are the balls that are just barely small enough to roll under the couch.

A typical evening with our ball-addict looks a little something like this:

Baby: (rolls ball under couch) “Uh, Oh!”

Daddy: “Where is your ball, Baby? Is it under the couch? Daddy will save it.”

Daddy gets Swiffer from broom closet in the kitchen, gets down on all fours and fishes for lost ball under the couch. The ball rolls out.

Baby: (claps) “Yeah!”

Daddy puts Swiffer back in broom closet in the kitchen.

Baby: (rolls ball under couch) “Uh, Oh!”

Daddy: “Where is your ball, Baby? Is it under the couch? Daddy will save it.”

Daddy gets Swiffer from broom closet in the kitchen, gets down on all fours and fishes for lost ball under the couch. The ball rolls out.

Baby: (claps) “Yeah!”

Repeat until bedtime.

Rather than continue to chase lost balls until Baby goes to college, Daddy had a brilliant idea to stop the balls from rolling under the couch. He bought this:

Anyone that has a Grandma has seen these handy gadgets. They are commonly referred to as breeze blockers or draft guards and little old ladies like to scatter them all over the house to keep out the cold.

Daddy places the breeze blockers in front of the sofa and love seat. Baby rolls his balls. The balls don’t go under the couch!

That’s What Works For Me!

Now, if we could just find a way to keep Baby away from the Christmas tree…

Party Planning

The Company Holiday Party: Then & Now

We just got an invitation in the mail for Daddy’s annual company Holiday party. For $10 per person, we can attend a formal dinner with dancing and a cash bar. It sounded like a great reason to squeeze into a party dress and brush my hair, until I realized how complicated this endeavor could be.

Before Baby, the annual company party would go a little something like this:

*RSVP by deadline
*Shop for new dress
*Make hair appointment
*Go to party
*Dance, laugh, eat
*Don’t drink too much
*Go home
*Sex
*Sleep until noon the next day

After Baby, the annual company party will be a little something like this:

*RSVP tentatively
*Search closet full of dresses and pick one that accentuates baby fat the least
*Pout because all the dresses make Mommy look fat
*Realize that Mommy and Daddy are leaving Baby with a sitter for the first time
*Feel guilty while scheduling the sitter
*Pump breastmilk before the party
*Prepare bottles
*Nurse baby
*Get dressed
*Kiss Baby goodbye
*Baby spits up
*Change clothes
*Go to party
*Dance, laugh, and eat quickly
*Pump breastmilk in the car
*Don’t drink
*Go home early
*Nurse baby
*Put Baby to bed
*Consider sex
*Choose sleep instead
*Feed Baby again at 2:30am

Sounds like a celebration!!!

Horror Stories

I’m a working mom and I’m probably one of the most high-maintenance working moms an employer could ever dread to have. I’ve been breastfeeding my 8 month old son since the day he was born and I don’t plan to stop until he feels he has had enough. Since I went back to work when he was 6 weeks old, that means I’ve spent a lot of time with my breast pump in the last 8 months.

I know that there are plenty of moms out there that have suffered worse injustices than I have when it comes to finding a place to pump while away from home. Feel free to share your own pumping horror stories, but I need to vent about my own.

During my first month back to work, we had a power outage. I happened to be pumping at the time. Not knowing how long the outage would last, I panicked. Being a new mom, I imagined a sudden and tragic decline in my newly-established milk supply. Luckily, I was able to find six AA batteries in our office and pump without electrical power.

I accepted a promotion when my son was 3 months old, and the new job moved me to a new office building. That building didn’t have a lactation room, but it did have a handicap restroom that I was able to use. The restroom was a good place to pump because it had a locking door, electrical outlet, sink, and room for a table and a comfy chair. The restroom was a bad place to pump because it also had a toilet and was a popular place for people to poop in privacy. The room was in desperate need of air freshener.

A month ago, our office moved to a new building. The building is still under renovation, so the designated lactation room won’t be ready until the end of the year. After much fussing on my part, building management reluctantly set up a temporary room with a locking door and an electrical outlet. After more fussing on my part, they also cleaned the drywall dust that coated every surface in the room. I found a chair and table to drag in there, along with some Clorox wipes, and I made myself at home.

Yesterday, the temporary lactation room was locked. Darn. I thought someone was using it, so I decided to come back in an hour. The door was still locked. Darn. I realized that no one was in the room and I called building maintenance to unlock the door. An hour later, the room was still locked. Darn. Desperate for relief, I resorted to pumping in an empty cubicle on my floor that has a door. I use the term “door” loosely, because it is a sliding panel that resembles a shower door with frosted glass. I turned my back to the door and pumped, trying to ignore the fact that everyone around me could hear my pump chugging away.

This morning, the door is still locked. Darn. I’m frantic. I round up everyone with a key…the cleaning lady, the security guard, the maintenance man. We discover that no one has a key to this room, not even the building owner. They call a locksmith and now we wait for the room to be unlocked.

Dear Hubby recommends that I just pump in my cubicle and if my co-workers don’t want to see my exposed breasts, they should help me find a place to pump in privacy. That sure sounds like a great idea when it’s not YOUR boobs hanging out for the world to see…

Please share your pumping horror stories to remind me that my life is really not that bad!!

Gift Idea for Dads

For this week’s edition of Works For Me Wednesday, hosted by Rocks In My Dryer, I’d like to share the most brilliant idea for a birthday gift that I have ever had and possibly the best idea I could ever hope to have in my lifetime.

Do you crumble under the pressure of trying to think of the most spectacular and unforgettable birthday gift ever? I do and that’s why I was shocked that I thought of the following project for the kids to gift to my dear Hubby on his 40th birthday (out of respect for him, I won’t tell you how long ago we did this).

Our family purchased our first camcorder shortly before his birthday, so the kids decided to make a movie for him. They based it on a news broadcast and wrote a script for news anchors, reporters, and witnesses. We set up a news desk in the basement and the kids made posters to announce each news segment. The news segments included The Life of Dad, All About Dad, My Memories of Dad, and Life Lessons from Dad. The kids took turns interviewing each other and the results were hilarious.

Some of the most memorable excerpts from the news broadcast include:

When youngest daughter was asked to name Dad’s favorite movie, she said, “Dad loves XXX.” She meant the action movie staring Vin Diesel, not porn.

When asked the most important thing Dad ever told her about life, youngest daughter stated, “Man that goes to bed with itchy butt wakes up with smelly finger.”

The kids had just gotten a new kitten, so you can hear the cat meowing loudly in the background because she was locked out of the room during filming. As the camera fades out from scene to scene, you can hear oldest daughter screaming, “Someone make that stupid cat shut up already!” She evidently didn’t know that we were still recording.

The news broadcast included commercials for products that Dads might like, such as air freshener for farts and miracle couch cushions that bounce back into shape automatically after teenagers lounge all over them.

Unexpected breaking news interrupted the broadcast when youngest daughter accidentally poked oldest daughter in the eye. We later interrupted the scheduled programming to report that oldest daughter would not require medical attention and that the sisters had called a truce for Dad’s sake.

We gave the DVD to my husband for his 40th birthday and it is still a great source of amusement for him and a tremendous source of embarrassment for our girls.

That’s What Worked For Me!

P.S. Feel free to leave a comment with ideas for Christmas gifts for dads! After 8 years of marriage, my mind is blank. What should I get for hubby this year?

Life

Life indeed would be dull

if there were no such difficulties.

Life Lessons: Sick Baby Edition

A baby can cry for hours and hours

You don’t need as much sleep as you think you do

The Family Bed is not a lifestyle choice,
it is a survival tactic

Vapor Bath might not relieve congestion,
but the bubbles can distract a sick baby for up to an hour

The only thing harder than leaving your baby at daycare for the first time is leaving your sick baby at daycare

No matter how much vacation time you save at work, you will never have enough

If you have to choose between disappointing your boss or caring for your baby, you will disappoint your boss

Arguments between Mommy and Daddy while Baby is sick should be attributed to sleep deprivation and feelings of helplessness

Trust Daddy’s advice and let him help make decisions

The ban on over-the-counter decongestants for infants sounds practical, until you have a need to use them

A screaming, crying, coughing baby will stop screaming, crying, and coughing as soon as you arrive at the doctor’s office

Even a sick baby can’t resist playing with the tissue paper on the exam table

When your baby is sick, insurance co-pays are the last thing on your mind

Throwing on a bra before you leave the house will be the last thing on your mind when you take your sick baby to the emergency room

It’s all worth it