Still Alive

Its been ages since I've updated my blog, so I suppose it might be nice if I notify the blogosphere every once in a while that I am still alive.

School has been crushing me since I took 10 credit hours last semester and I'm still working full-time. Oh, and I'm still the parent of a toddler, too.

Facebook also makes it incredibly easy to stay in touch with folks with simple one-line status updates, so I must admit that I've been feeling lazy lately.

Here are some recent pics of the kid which I offer in atonement for my bloggy absence.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Duh!

The other day, David asked me

“Momma, how many bingers you got?”

I showed him my hand and told him, “I have 5 fingers. How many fingers do you have?

After pondering this question and studying his hand deliberately, he exclaimed

“All of them!”

Duh, Mommy.

Swimsuit Update

In all seriousness, I need a new swimsuit for the summer season.

In the past, I’ve been a big fan of the skirted tankini because I had a lot to hide. Now that I’ve lost some weight, I thought I might try on a one piece. I found an old suit of mine that has been in storage for years and it fit! I got brave and threw it in my pool bag last night when we went to the YMCA for family swim.

Hubby’s first comment when he saw me come out of the locker room was, “Why did you decide to wear that?”

My response was, “I DON’T KNOW??!!!???”

I panicked thinking that I looked like a fat blob, but he later commented, “You look really good in that suit.”

I was a little more confident after that compliment, but that moment of euphoria was shattered when I had a Janet-Jackson-Superbowl-Wardrobe-Malfunction in the pool. Now I remember with shocking clarity why this particular swimsuit was in storage.

The search is on for the perfect swimsuit and I’ll definitely be trying on some suits to get an idea of my size and the perfect style for me. Then, I’ll probably be checking out this incredibly awesome website that I found. The prices are fantastic, there are coupon codes available, and best of all, the swimsuit models on this website look like REAL WOMEN.

I love it!!

Random Thoughts

You would think that after vanishing from the blogosphere for about a month, I might feel compelled to explain my absence in a logical manner. Luckily for you, I am in denial regarding my compulsions, so you won’t be forced to read a post about the past month of my life.

How about a post about my recent Random Thoughts instead?

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It really sucks that I applied for a promotion and almost got it before they offered it to someone else because she knew someone that knew someone that knew someone that recommended her…even though I was better for the job.

I’m still not over it.

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I’ve lost 20 pounds since February. I feel fantastic and my clothes look humungous. I still have 10 pounds to lose and I know I just need to start exercising to reach my goal, but I am so tired…

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We’re planning a family vacation to Florida in June to visit my Dad.

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I won a gift certificate for house cleaning from Merry Maids last year as part of my Mom’s Makeover prize package. They won’t clean my house because I am not in their service area. This made me more than slightly irritated, so I sold the gift certificate on Ebay. I’ll use my auction earnings to buy more Windex.

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Do me a favor and hire GrimeStoppers for all of your cleaning needs because the guy at Merry Maids is making me want to scream my head off.

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Oh, yeah. Remember Little King David? He’s still alive and well. He is talking very clearly now and it’s thrilling to hear the things he has on his mind. His favorite phrase is, “Why not?”

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Speaking of talking, David has a “potty mouth” friend at daycare. I’m glad his teacher thought to mention this to me because imagine my surprise when my two-year-old called me a B*TCH last night. Ouch!

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My toddler has a cleaning compulsion. He has a fit if he isn’t allowed to use the vacuum cleaner or have a turn with the sponge while I’m scrubbing the tub. What kind of freaks raise a kid like that?!!?

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Probably the same parents that send their kid to the ghetto daycare full of potty-mouth children.

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Yesterday, I had the brilliant idea that it would be amusing to give my toddler a bottle of glue and a bucket of sequins. It might sound kind of messy, but my toddler has a cleaning compulsion, so his craft project kept him busy for an entire hour. He spent about 20 minutes gluing sequins on his art paper and 40 minutes sweeping up and picking up every single sequin that he accidentally scattered all over the kitchen floor.

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I think that’s enough randomness for one day…

Terrible

Its been a long time since I’ve shared a post on my blog simply because its difficult to admit to the world that I’m knee-deep in the terrible twos and I wish I could start drinking each day at noon.

Every single moment of every single day is an opportunity for conflict with this kid. He doesn’t want to eat, he doesn’t want to get dressed, he doesn’t want to brush his teeth, he doesn’t want to wear a coat, he doesn’t want to get in the carseat, he doesn’t want to stop jumping on my bed, he doesn’t want to clean up, and he definitely does not want to take a nap.

So, what does this kid actually WANT to do?

Jump on my bed while eating ice cream in the nude approximately one hour past bedtime.

It hasn’t actually gotten that bad yet, but the scenario I just described would probably be the perfect ending to David’s dream day.

Now, where did Mommy leave her flask...?

The Aftermath

I’m still trying to recuperate from our exhausting weekend at Kalahari Indoor Waterpark and the time change that you forgot to warn me about!

In the meantime, enjoy these photos of David’s birthday celebration.

Happy Birthday, David!

Walk with Mommy down memory lane...

Two Years Ago...

Two years ago, we met David for the first time.

Enjoy his birth story.

Works For Me Wednesday: Gift Wrap

Today is the last day in my son’s life that he will only be one year old. To divert myself from being ridiculously sentimental about it, I’m going to devote a few minutes of my time today to a Works for Me Wednesday post.

Anyone with a small child knows that any gift-receiving special occasion involves an excited child tearing the wrapping paper off of an incredibly awesome toy that they intend to play with immediately.

The joy fades when the child realizes that the awesome toy is impossible to remove from its packaging without adult assistance. The unlucky adult then realizes that the tools necessary to remove the packaging includes a pair of scissors to cut the tape off the box, dexterous fingers to remove the tiny metal twist ties, and inevitably, a tiny screwdriver to remove the tiny screws preventing the toy’s escape from the box. It’s also inevitable that no one will have a tiny screwdriver in their pocket at this moment and the child will be reduced to tears. If you are incredibly unlucky, the toy will also require batteries and fate always ensures that you don’t have the correct size batteries lying around in a drawer when you need them to be.

Last night I was wrapping birthday gifts for David and had a brilliant idea. Actually, it’s a suggestion that I got from another parent a long time ago and it happened to pop into my brain at an opportune moment.

If you are wrapping a gift for a young child, remove the packaging FIRST. Yes, the box is pretty and confirms that the toy inside is brand new. Yes, the gift wrap will look hideous without a box inside. Yes, the wrapped gift will look like it fell out of Santa’s sleigh and got run over by a school bus.

BUT

The child will unwrap the gift, shriek with joy, and then play with that awesome toy right away. No tantrums and no tiny screwdrivers necessary.

Hurray!

I think I’m almost ready for David’s 2nd birthday. Now, all I need is a Prozac…

That’s what Works for Me!

The Agony Continues

I just spent my entire lunch hour at Giant Eagle agonizing over which birthday cake to buy for David to take to daycare for his class to share on Thursday.

On an ordinary day, the decision would be simple. $10 cake or $28 cake? Obviously, the $10 cake!

Today, the decision was much more difficult.

What does the guilty mother that will be working on her child’s second birthday buy for his birthday celebration that he will have with his friends while his guilty mother is working?

Does she buy the expensive, professionally decorated Elmo cake that he will be thrilled to have and forget an hour later?

Or does she buy the inexpensive, simple white cake with sprinkles and write his name on it with decorating gel?

Or does she buy the mid-range, elegantly decorated cookie-cake with icing balloons on it to impress him?

Or does she agonize over this decision for an hour, then call Daddy at work for his advice?

She calls Daddy and he tells her to buy the $10 cake and write his name on it. He calmly reminds her that his friends will be wearing more cake than they will be eating, so it doesn’t make sense to spend $28 on a cake that will only be used to frustrate many mothers that are responsible for washing the laundry for the children wearing this cake.

Mommy relents and buys the cheap cake.

She’ll make up for it by going to Babies R Us tomorrow during lunch and buying the Birthday Boy shirt for him to wear.

Birthday Blues

I think its only fair to warn you that I’m going to be sentimental this week. David’s second birthday is on Thursday. Where has the time gone??

Rather than have a party at our house this year infested with relatives that just won’t leave, we decided to take the kids to Kalahari Indoor Waterpark for the weekend. I gotta tell you that I have never been to an indoor waterpark, but just the thought of putting on my bathing suit in public in the dead of winter is absolutely thrilling to me. But I knew David would love it, so how could I deny him this? I can’t wait to see his face when he sees the pool!

For his birthday on Thursday, Mommy and Daddy will be taking him to the indoor playground at Chick-Fil-A. We’ll pretend that we expect him to eat his chicken nuggets before he climbs out of the high chair to play. After dinner, we’ll do cake and candles at home and David will un-wrap his gifts. Daddy was cool enough to do the gift shopping this year and his choices of a Play-Doh Duffel Bag and the Play-Doh Fun Factory are going to be a hit!

I hope I don’t cry this year…

Big Helper

I made the mistake of trying to pack away David’s baby clothes this weekend while he was awake. I decided it was time to put another round of clothing into storage when I opened a dresser drawer the other day while I was looking for nail clippers and I encountered an entire drawer devoted to baby bibs.

While I was packing up his baby bibs, tiny socks, and unbelievably adorable tiny outfits, he was doing some unpacking of his own.

He tried on his Halloween costume again…

Then he had a fit because I wouldn’t let him play with Mommy’s new Canon Powershot SX10…

Then he demanded to wear a tiny bib and sit in his baby carrier…

No way Mommy’s putting that on her back with you in it, big boy!!

Happy Valentine's Day

A mother holds her children’s hands for a while, their hearts forever.

Did I Blink?

Since when is my little baby such a big boy? It seems like just yesterday he needed me for everything and his most impressive response to any question was “Yes.”

Now, he eats cereal in a bowl with milk and a spoon, he drinks from a cup without a lid, he opens the refrigerator by himself, finds the blueberries that I have hidden in the butter compartment, opens them and pours them into his snack cup. He brushes his teeth by himself, can turn on the water in the sink to wash his hands, and pretends to do bicep curls with my resistance band. He has a painfully accurate aim when throwing any ball (he’s a lefty, too!). He puts away his dirty laundry, tosses his dirty dishes into the kitchen sink, and loves to vacuum.

He suddenly speaks a zillion words and he likes to throw them out all at once. Last week, he could say “Yes.” This week, he says, “C’,mon, Mama. Get up and come here. I want this, please.” He also loves to say, “I do it! I big boy.”

How did this happen so quickly?

Who is this little man living in my house?

And where is my baby?

The Purse Is Boss

Lynette tagged me for a meme because my current blog fodder about daycare and respiratory infections has been getting a little old. She’s also mistakenly thinking that I might have something fun and interesting to add to this meme, and I can assure you that I don’t. We’ll blame her for the post that follows.

This meme is forcing me to take a photo of my purse and post it for everyone to see. The meme was very specific in instructing that I may not dig the cute purse out of my closet. The photo has to be the purse that I’m hauling around with me today. Since I'm at work, I also don't have access to that fancy new camera my husband bought, so I'm using the camera on my cellphone.

I’m currently carrying a very simple, black New York and Co. purse. It has two straps and one zipper. It contains my wallet, my cell phone, my car keys and my i-pod. I also have some eyeliner and lip gloss stashed in there, as well as a few Euros that David’s grandfather sent him from Austria, but I can’t find a place to exchange them for U.S. currency.

The purse cost me absolutely nothing as it was a cast-off from my fashionable sister-in-law a few years ago. She is always on the cutting edge of fashion and I have never seen her wear the same outfit twice. I also never saw her carry this purse, which probably explains why it was given to me looking like-new. I’m a bargain hunter at heart, so $0 for a cute purse is an offer I can’t refuse.

Now that I’ve done my bloggy-duty, I’m inviting all my readers to participate in this meme. The rules are simple:

1) Post a picture of the purse you are carrying today. Do not grab the cute purse out of your closet that you now wish you were carrying instead.

2) Share the story of how you got it and how much you paid. This is purely for our entertainment.
3) Daddy bloggers are not excluded! If you don’t have a purse, we’d love to see the masculine diaper bag that you carry around.

4) Tag your friends and link back to this post so they understand why you are torturing them with a writing assignment. They’ll also feel better about their own hand-bags after seeing mine on display.

Enjoy!

Back In The Swing of Things

It’s another Monday morning. Little King David is feeling much better after an episode of pneumonia that left him three pounds lighter than he was a week ago today. He is eating and drinking again after several days on antibiotics and he returned to daycare this morning. Now Mommy is starting the get the same respiratory infection that he had last week…gotta love those French kisses!

Although today technically marks David’s second week at the new daycare center, it’s really only the third day he is attending. He was melancholy on the morning commute, even though Mommy was trying to excite him with thoughts of play-doh and painting. Upon arriving at daycare, David became very clingy and refused to be put down. Mommy finally handed him over to his teacher and kissed him good-bye. You can never imagine how hard it is to leave a hysterical kid until that kid is your own. You would think it should make you feel good that someone in the world loves you so much that they are devastated when you leave them. I felt like scum for leaving my crying baby.

I called Daddy this morning as I drove to work and he listened to me cry and assured me that David would be fine. He encouraged me to call the daycare when I got to work and promised they would tell me that David was happy. He convinced me that it’s safe and healthy for David to feel sad when people he loves leave and its evidence of healthy emotional development. See why I love this man so much?

I did call the daycare when I knew they would be done eating breakfast and David’s teacher assured me that he is just fine. He stopped crying two minutes after I left the parking lot and he has been playing happily ever since.

Do I really have to do this all over again tomorrow???

Sick Day

David’s first day at the new daycare center was fabulous! He didn’t cry all day, had a good nap, met some new friends, and made a mess of himself with his spaghetti. The transition was smooth and uneventful.

Day #2 wasn’t quite so good. David woke up with a runny nose and a little bit of a cough. He screamed and cried as Mommy left the daycare center and he was still crying as he stood in the window watching her drive away. Mommy was crying a few moments later.

I got a call later that afternoon that David had a fever of 103 degrees and rapid breathing. I ran to my car as fast as my chubby legs could take me.

Daddy met us at the doctor’s office a short hour later and they ran a zillion tests and poked him too many times. It’s not strep throat, it’s not the flu and it’s not an ear infection. His doctor concluded that he has the same mysterious viral infection that every single kid in her pediatrics practice has had this week.

David is at home with Daddy today watching The Jungle Book and eating ice cream for lunch. He’s probably even eating ice cream for lunch while sitting on the living room couch. (All the rules change when you’re sick)

Its my turn to stay home with him tomorrow and his doctor wants to see him again on Friday if he still has a fever by then.

One day at a time!

Good Morning!

I have been anxiously awaiting this Monday morning, and it’s not because I was excited to go to work. Today is David’s first day at his new daycare!

I’ve been an emotional train wreck since we decided to move to a new daycare center. Although I knew in my heart that it was the right decision to make, it was so hard to say goodbye to the teachers and friends that have been part of David’s life ever since he can remember. His teachers cried on his last day and David hugged everyone goodbye as if it would be only a few short days until he saw them again. I felt a tug at my heart at the thought that he doesn’t understand that he is never going back.

We spent the weekend talking about David’s new school. I even let him watch Finding Nemo so he would be excited about the fish tank full of clown fish in the new daycare center’s lobby.

We arrived at daycare early this morning, just as I had planned. We hung up David’s coat and filled his new cubby with his bibs, sippy cup, painting shirt and spare clothes. We spread out his nap mat and his blankie on his new cot and I left his photo album on his cot so he could see Mommy & Daddy at naptime.

David gave Mommy a huge pucker and ran off to meet some new friends. As I was leaving, David was helping one of the teachers move the breakfast cart to his classroom. He didn’t even cry when I left! I was so relieved!

Now, if only I could be as excited about a Monday morning...

Difficult Decisions

Little King David has been in the same daycare center since he was 8 weeks old. His former infant teacher calls herself “his grandmother.” He is the teacher’s pet in the toddler class. He has a best friend in his classroom that he hugs goodbye at the end of the day.

Imagine my dismay when I realized now is the time that we need to move David to a new daycare center!

There is another child at this daycare center that is a challenge for the teachers to manage. Biter Boy constantly runs off, ignores their instructions, and hurts other children. The hurting other children part is what bothers me, and the hurting David part is what bothers me most. Biter Boy is the child that was biting David a few months ago.

Wednesday morning, I dropped David off at daycare. As I was leaving, I saw Biter Boy run up behind him, knock him to the ground, and lay on his head. Needless to say, David was hysterical and Mommy was late for work.

Not surprisingly, Daddy was livid. He worked from home on Thursday so David could stay home while Mommy sorted things out with the daycare Director.

The daycare Director informed me that I was exaggerating when I told her that David was “injured” by Biter Boy because he was able to get up and walk away after the incident. She also told me that Biter Boy’s behavior has improved since the biting incidents and there must be something about David that encourages Biter Boy to pick on him. She also reminded me that David is not a perfect little angel and he must have hit someone in daycare at one time or another, although his teachers have never notified me of that behavior. She assured me that she has seen children in the past that have much more severe behavior problems than Biter Boy.

I wonder how she would feel if I knocked her to the floor and sat on her head?

David will only be attending this daycare for one more short week.

Bye Bye, Biter Boy and Child-Hating Daycare Director!!!

A Mama of Few Words

We have been working with a Family Support Specialist from Help Me Grow for a few months. You may recall that Little King David was in the habit of throwing massive tantrums. It wasn’t unusual for him to cry for an hour or two if he didn’t get his way. This was very unnerving for Mommy and Daddy and rather than battle each other over how to fix this problem, we decided to get help.

David hasn’t had a monster tantrum for awhile now and we no longer feel like we are walking on eggshells all the time. That’s the good news. The bad news is that Mommy and Daddy got in the habit of bowing to His Majesty a little too often.

Rather than command our little toddler, we began to make requests. It wasn’t uncommon to hear Mommy use her sing-song sugary voice to say:

“David, please don’t touch the stove. It is hot and Mommy doesn’t want you to get a boo-boo. Mommy would be very sad if you got hurt.” (Repeat 20 times)

“David, please lay still while I change your diaper. This is very messy business and Mommy doesn’t want you to fall off the changing table. You will get a boo-boo and Mommy doesn’t want you to get hurt.” (Repeat 20 times)

“David, please don’t stand on the chair. I would like you to sit on your butt. If you fall, you will get a boo-boo and Mommy doesn’t want you to get hurt.” (Repeat 20 times)

I’m sure you can see how my communication style was flawed. It was even better when Mommy and Daddy were in a room together. I would repeat my request a zillion times and Daddy would be sure to interrupt to repeat my request again.

Our Family Support Specialist must chuckle to herself every time she leaves our house.

Her instructions this week are to stop rationalizing with a toddler. Use only simple sentences and short words. There is no need to offer explanations or rationalizations.

I’ve been trying this for two days now and I have a new child!

Mommy says, “David, sit down.”

David sits down.

Mommy says, “David, we are taking a bath now.”

David runs to the tub.

Mommy says, “David, we are eating.”

David stops hollering about getting out of his high chair 5 minutes after we start eating dinner.

Either it’s a miracle or I’m dense. Probably the latter…