There are two major reasons that my blog has been quiet this week.
The first intimidating reason is that I have a test due on Friday at midnight for my History class. Something about the midnight deadline is incredibly intimidating. A four o’clock deadline doesn’t induce the same panic as a deadline that could potentially have me wide awake well after my bedtime, laboring over a keyboard while wearing my pajamas. I doubt I actually have the dedication and motivation to do that, but the possibility scares me.
I usually don’t sweat tests. I don’t know that I’m necessarily smart, but I have a test-taking talent that has been a tremendous asset to me in the past. Since I’m such a saavy test-taker, I didn’t invest a lot of time in studying for this test. Until I learned that it wasn’t multiple choice. When I read that the test was a single question to be answered in a four page essay summarizing the five chapters of the textbook that I didn’t read, I lost my mind.
The good news is that my test is done and that stress is gone. Or at least it’s gone until the next test is due a month from now.
Meanwhile, I’ve also been struggling with the stress of trying to protect my son from a cannibal at daycare. Little King David has been bitten six times in the past two weeks and I’m frantic at this point. My initial reaction was that its typical behavior for this age group and it would be a learning experience for him. After the first couple of bites, I became concerned that the teachers weren’t being attentive and that my little angel was being bullied. This week, I’m enraged that my son doesn’t enjoy a sense of safety and security at school and that the staff has failed to provide the safe environment that I pay for. I’m mad at myself because I consider it my most fundamental responsibility as a parent to keep him safe and healthy and I am failing miserably to keep him safe in this situation. I lay awake at night and imagine that my son is terrified and that the emotional damage of this experience will mold his personality and effect the path of his life.
I know I am over-reacting, but it’s hard to remain calm when I see the effects the biting is having on my baby. He is having uncontrollable tantrums at home and night terrors in his sleep since this has started.
I think we’ve negotiated a solution with the daycare center and I pray that this solution will work for everyone. Let’s both pray that my son will be safe at daycare, that he will feel the peace and protection of the presence of God with him daily, and that the child that is biting him will find the love and support at home and school that he needs to overcome his behavioral problems. We’ll pray together and I know everything will be alright.