Dental Trauma

I absolutely hate going to the dentist, so that may explain my hestitant jubilation when I learned that my makeover package includes teeth whitening. That process involves a very thorough cleaning, so I'm having a little trouble comprehending how this is a prize? I understand that it is an expensive, cosmetic, luxury procedure, but I still can't wrap my mind around the idea of visiting the dentist for fun and spending my own discretionary funds to do it. If it wasn't free, you wouldn't find me there.

As expected, the dentist commented about my obvious issues, of which I am very self-conscious. As a teenager, I always dreamed of getting braces, but I never did (long, sad story that we'll save for another post). I'd love to have braces now, but I can't justify the expense. Of course, every dentist that has seen my teeth in the last decade has commented on my need for braces, and every dentist acts as if they have discovered and explained some mysterious medical ailment that has been troubling me and this discovery should afford them a Nobel Prize. This dentist was no exception.

The visit went a little something like this:

Genius Dentist: You have some overcrowding going on in there.

Baby Addict: Are you serious? I hadn't noticed!

Genius Dentist: Have you ever had braces?

Baby Addict: If I did, don't you think I would be suing the idiot for malpractice?

Genius Dentist: You should think about getting braces. It would be a great improvement.

Baby Addict: Wow! I never thought of that! You're the smartest dentist I ever met!

Actually, I wasn't so rude. For some reason, I'm reluctant to piss off a dentist while he has sharp instruments in my mouth.