Vroom Vroom

I have a seven-year old nephew that is your classic Skater Dude. Since I can remember (and I’ve known him all his life), he has been a fan of the X-Games and Nascar. As a toddler, he drove a Power Wheels Hummer rather than a tricycle. He learned to skateboard before he learned to ride a two-wheeler, he has skateboard ramps in his driveway, and his collection of motorized vehicles includes a dirt bike and a quad.

Although I love my nephew and admire his enthusiasm for outdoors sports, I always swore that my son would never be that spoiled or participate in anything so dangerous. I envision Little King David making pinewood derby cars as a Cub Scout or playing peewee football. Maybe we’ll even sign him up for toddler ice skating lessons when he is three years old. Daddy loves hockey and Mommy loves to watch the toddlers wobbling around the ice arena in their giant bicycle helmets.

Unfortunately, David defies me at every opportunity. He has a love of engines and all things loud. He loves to watch the cars drive by our house. He becomes very serious if he sees a fire truck or police car racing past our minivan as we cruise around town. He is mesmerized by bulldozers and cranes. He is overwhelmed with excitement when he hears the roar of a motorcycle.

And he was ecstatic yesterday afternoon when he found the quads parked in my mother-in-law’s yard. We were there for our traditional, bi-weekly visit with the in-laws. The in-laws live in the country and my sister-in-law, her husband, and my nephew decided to ride their quads to MIL’s house rather than hop in the car yesterday.

David didn’t even see or hear them arrive. We simply went outside to play. As soon as David saw the quads, he started pointing enthusiastically (which means he was waving his arms at them frantically like an air-traffic controller trying to divert an imminent airplane crash). He repeated over and over, “Dis! Dis! Vroom, Vroom!”

How the heck does the kid know that these are vroom vrooms? Are boys just born with the innate knowledge that anything with wheels probably has a loud engine?

Uncle D happily let David sit on his quad. David proceeded to push the ignition button over and over and over until he finally convinced Uncle D to turn it on. As the engine rumbled, David’s face lit up with a huge grin. Uncle D hopped on the quad and took David for a ride around the yard.

Didn’t I say I would never let this happen?

How is it that a 13-month old can defy me?

Doesn’t he understand that these hobbies are too dangerous?

And he wonders why I can’t give up swearing!!