This Story Gets Better

You may recall that Mommy bought a TV Guard to end the Alpha-Male Competition, but Daddy informed her that it was a stupid idea. Obviously, we needed to return it for a refund.

Mommy ordered it online from Babies R Us. The TV Guard was $7.99 and shipping and handling was $6.99. Obviously, it would not be cost-effective to return it through the mail. Mommy was pleased to see that it could be returned to any Babies R Us or Toys R Us store.

When the happy family arrived at Toys R Us, we were informed that the TV Guard could be returned, but they could only offer us store credit. Obviously, Mommy didn’t read that part of the return instructions on the receipt.

Since return shipping would cost almost as much as the refund, we opted for the store credit. Surely, we could find something David wanted at Toys R Us.

We began to browse through the bouncy balls, the Play-Doh, the pop-up books and puppets. Daddy insisted that David would love something manly, like a truck or some power tools. Mommy reminded Daddy that we were in Toys R Us, not Home Depot, and we went off in search of manly toys.

On the way, David discovered a Little Tikes Lawnmower that some sad child had abandoned in the middle of an aisle.

He immediately loved it. He turned the ignition key, toggled the choke, and removed the gas cap to check for gasoline. The lawnmower was packaged in a cardboard display box that prevented it from rolling on it’s wheels, but David was happy to push it along the aisles in the box.

Surely this lawnmower was not selling for $7.99.

Mommy tried to divert his attention with a remote control car with realistic engine noises. David briefly abandoned the lawnmower, only to go running back to it as soon as the engine noises stopped.

Daddy found a cuddly, soft plush puppy that David hugged enthusiastically. He then dropped it on the floor and mowed it down with the lawnmower.

Mommy found a Fisher Price ball popper just like the one David has at home. It’s his favorite toy! He glanced at it briefly and returned to his inspection of the lawnmower’s gas cap.

As proud as can be over his son’s choice of a manly toy, Daddy swept David off his feet, grabbed the lawnmower, and joyously marched to the cash register.

We went into the store with a merchandise credit of $7.99, but left the store with a Visa charge of $13.59.

And that is how David conned us into buying him a new toy by disobeying the rules.

The irony of it just slays me…