Wish List

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching and the family is starting to harass me about what I want. My birthday is only one week later, so they have a big shopping spree planned.

In previous years, I have trusted their judgement and answered questions of “What do you want?” with the simple response of “I will be happy with any gift you choose for me.”

I can tell you from experience that I should not trust their judgement. One year, the Queen of Sheba bought me green nail polish because my favorite color is green. Another year, Skywalker bought me a beautiful, silver, kimono-style dress. In a size SMALL. I was very flattered that she wasn’t old enough to realize that I am more like a size Extra-Extra-NOT-Small, but she insisted that I have the dress and it was the only size left on the rack. Another year, they bought me a Winnie the Pooh t-shirt because I love Pooh and nothing says mature, professional adult like Disney apparel.

I almost made the mistake of giving them free reign over the shopping list this year, then I had this conversation with the Queen of Sheba:

Queen of Sheba: “What do you want for Mother’s Day and your birthday this year?”

Stepmonster: “I can’t think of anything I need. Do you think you could choose something I would like?”

Queen of Sheba: “Sure! How about a new Winnie the Pooh shirt? Maybe a green one?”

Stepmonster: “That’s a great idea, but I already have a couple Pooh shirts. Maybe something else would be better.”

Queen of Sheba: “That’s true. How about some new earrings?”

Stepmonster: “That would be nice. My gold hoops are starting to look a little tarnished since they’re not real gold.”

Queen of Sheba: “Cool! I saw some really sweet angel wing earrings at the mall last week. I could get you some of those.”

Stepmonster: “Those sound really pretty, but I don’t think they would be appropriate to wear to work or for anyone over the age of 17 to wear in public. What do you think?”

Queen of Sheba: “I thought they would be pretty. And we could share your earrings.”

Stepmonster: “Well, maybe I will give you a shopping list this year.”

Meanwhile, Daddy and Skywalker were smirking through this entire conversation as they finally got their way. They’ve been begging for a shopping list for years.

What should I put on my wish list?

Please help!