He may not touch the oven knobs, the fire extinguisher, the night lights in his bedroom, the power strip for the tortoise habitat, the heat lamp for the tortoise habitat, and the power button for the computer. (the last one isn’t dangerous, but Daddy doesn’t like what happens to the computer when it is not turned off properly. He especially doesn’t like it when it is turned off while he is paying bills online.)
Of all these temptations, the one item that David simply can not keep his hands off is the television. We have a Hitachi 57” widescreen television in our living room which was Mommy’s gift to Daddy one Christmas, which would also be the very last luxury item Daddy would own before the birth of Baby. You may call it a “I bought you a TV, now give me a baby” gift. It worked.
David just can’t resist turning the television off. The power button glows a beautiful soft blue that just beckons to him and conquers his will power. To make matters worse, David is so fast that Mommy and Daddy have to run to grab him before he can reach the button. As we tell him, “No touch,” he is laughing hysterically thinking that we are chasing him.
Mommy is happy to ignore the button pushing. After all, he will eventually give it up if no one cares, right? However, Daddy is convinced that David is competing for the Alpha-Male status in our house and that turning off the television is like pissing in Daddy’s territory. (Maybe the analogy is proof that Daddy is watching too much Discovery Channel?)
In a quest for peace, Mommy ordered a TV Guard online. She was so excited when it arrived in the mail, but Daddy dampened her joy immediately. He absolutely refused to put adhesive on his prized television.
Instead, he bought a Super Yard gate to protect the television. Obviously, the TV Guard that Mommy bought for $7.99 was an obstruction, but the Super Yard that Daddy bought for $54.88 was not an eyesore. Yes, let’s build a fort around the television. Why didn’t Mommy think of that?
Confident that our Television Battles had ended, we shared our brilliant solution with our friends over brunch yesterday. As the parents of toddler-age twins, surely they could empathize with our plight.
They suggested that we disable the power button by using the remote control to lock the television controls.