The Cast

I think it’s been fairly simple for both of my readers to follow my thoughts when I refer to the family as Mommy, Daddy and Baby. The recent appearances of bonus daughters on my blog makes this whole mess just a little more confusing, though. Besides, it’s just too much work to type “Bonus Daughter, age 12” over and over and over again.

For your reading convenience, I am renaming the family.

We’ll keep the monikers Mommy and Daddy just for simplicity’s sake. For future reference, I am Mommy and I am also the Baby Addict. Daddy is my husband and the father of the Baby.

We’ll change Baby’s name since I’ve recently realized that he won’t be a baby forever. It would be embarrassing for him and confusing for you if I continue to refer to him as Baby when he is in junior high school. His name will now be Little King David, or LKD for short. My reasoning for this is that he was named after Kind David, the dude that killed Goliath and wrote the Psalms of the Bible. He also thinks our home is his kingdom and that we are his servants, so the title seems appropriate for him.

Bonus Daughter, age 17, would throw a diva tantrum if I told her what I’ve named her on my blog. She is incredibly high maintenance and loves to whine about the trials of adolescent life. Ironically, she constantly accuses her little sister of acting like the “Queen of Sheba.” I have no idea who the Queen of Sheba is, but she sounds like a spoiled brat that always expects to get her way. We usually laugh at the irony of this. Going forward, Bonus Daughter, age 17, will be known as the Queen of Sheba.

Bonus Daughter, age 12, will absolutely adore her new name. Her real-life middle name is Sky and she is a big fan of the Star Wars saga. Just in case you are wondering, she thinks Hayden Christiansen is hot. I just realized the other day that if she married a guy named Mr. Walker, her married name would be Sky Walker. Ya’ know, like Luke Skywalker? She was absolutely mortified by this discovery, so she will be known as Skywalker going forward.

Because I am just that evil.

(I’m a stepmonster, remember?)