Friday, May 30, 2008

Toddler TEMPERament










I find it mildly amusing that the very qualities that I like in myself are extremely annoying when exhibited by my toddler.

I’m also considering a name change for my blog from Baby Addiction to Toddler Affliction.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Hokey Pokey Disease

My Little Prince David is sick with Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease. It sounds like something you might catch while dancing the Hokey Pokey but it’s really something you get from germy hands and germy diaper changing pads, both of which can probably be found in our daycare center.

David spent the day at home with Daddy today and he will spend the day with Mommy tomorrow. I cringe because my boss is never graceful about letting me take time off from work and she already has her panties in a bunch over all my makeover appointments. It really breaks my heart that I have to choose between being a good employee and being a good mother. It’s obviously an easy choice since I only have one baby but I can work anywhere, but I really wish I could have some work-life balance and keep the job that I have.

Anyway, you won’t be reading a blog post here on Thursday because I’ll be at home with a feverish, drooling, lethargic toddler. Don’t feel bad for me because we’ll be cuddled up in bed together watching Sesame Street. I feel bad for you because you’ll have to drag yourself out of bed and shower on Thursday. I won’t.


Wordless Wednesday: First Night In Crib

Since a sick baby slept in our bed last night, I thought it might be nice to reminisce about the first night David splept in his crib this time last year.

He slept in a bassinet next to our bed for the first couple of months, so the first night he slept in his crib in another room was difficult for Mommy & Daddy!

For more Wordless Wednesday, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

No Pain, No Gain

As I type this, I am foolishly munching on a crisp, juicy, red apple. Each bite brings a piercing, sharp pain through my sparkling white teeth. I am munching my apple in my cozy cubicle chair, but I am perched on the edge as I try to balance my weight on my sore behind. I don’t dare slouch because my ribs ache and throb.

To make a long story short, I met with the personal trainer this weekend and she kicked my butt. Then, I had an appointment this morning for teeth whitening. The procedure was painless but the aftermath isn’t pretty.

Actually, the aftermath is very pretty, but just don’t ask me to speak.

Everything hurts!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Breaking The Silence

Both of my blog readers may have been wondering why I have been so quiet this week and I have to tell you that being beautiful is tiring! I’ve been so busy this week running around to my Mom Makeover appointments that I haven’t had time to blog!

I usually blog from work because it feels rewarding to get paid for my hobbies. My personal time is too valuable to waste by surfing the internet after working hours and blogging offers a welcome reprieve from the monotony of my job.

Seriously, if my boss is reading this, I blog during my lunch break and my job is the most exciting position I could possibly hope to have. Really, I love it.

Anyway, I’m breaking my silence today because we got an unexpected letter in the mail this week. There was no return address on the envelope, which made me break out in a cold sweat because that is usually a reliable indication that the envelope contains hate mail from the ex-wife. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was a letter from Hubby’s boss’s wife.

Shari is an all-around awesome lady and now I admire her even more. She is walking in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3-Day in Cleveland beginning on August 22. She’ll be walking 60 miles in three days to raise money for breast cancer research. She is motivated by the early death of her mother-in-law and by her own history of abnormal mammograms.

Is there someone in your life that has been touched by cancer? A mother, sister, or friend? Maybe you are survivor. Or maybe you don’t know anyone that has battled cancer…yet.

Please consider making a small donation for breast cancer research to help Shari reach her goal. Even if you only donate one dollar, that dollar may help save your life or the life of someone you love someday.

Go check out Shari’s blog and cheer her on!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Dental Trauma

I absolutely hate going to the dentist, so that may explain my hestitant jubilation when I learned that my makeover package includes teeth whitening. That process involves a very thorough cleaning, so I'm having a little trouble comprehending how this is a prize? I understand that it is an expensive, cosmetic, luxury procedure, but I still can't wrap my mind around the idea of visiting the dentist for fun and spending my own discretionary funds to do it. If it wasn't free, you wouldn't find me there.

As expected, the dentist commented about my obvious issues, of which I am very self-conscious. As a teenager, I always dreamed of getting braces, but I never did (long, sad story that we'll save for another post). I'd love to have braces now, but I can't justify the expense. Of course, every dentist that has seen my teeth in the last decade has commented on my need for braces, and every dentist acts as if they have discovered and explained some mysterious medical ailment that has been troubling me and this discovery should afford them a Nobel Prize. This dentist was no exception.

The visit went a little something like this:

Genius Dentist: You have some overcrowding going on in there.

Baby Addict: Are you serious? I hadn't noticed!

Genius Dentist: Have you ever had braces?

Baby Addict: If I did, don't you think I would be suing the idiot for malpractice?

Genius Dentist: You should think about getting braces. It would be a great improvement.

Baby Addict: Wow! I never thought of that! You're the smartest dentist I ever met!

Actually, I wasn't so rude. For some reason, I'm reluctant to piss off a dentist while he has sharp instruments in my mouth.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Squeezing Into Gym Clothes

You may recall that I was really excited about the prospect of meeting with a personal trainer last week to begin my makeover journey. Why wouldn’t I be excited to squeeze my rolls into some gym clothes and sweat on camera in front of only-heaven-knows how many strangers? Even worse, only-heaven-knows how many friends, co-workers, family members, and eternal foes that might be tuning in for their own amusement. Wouldn’t you be excited?

Much to my relief, the personal trainer rescheduled at the last minute so she could attend her son’s college graduation ceremony instead.

Just more proof that God loves me.

Never fear, I will be meeting with the personal trainer this week and with the dermatologist for a consultation prior to my appointment for laser skin treatments. I don’t exactly know what they can fix with a laser, but I hope they are darn good at it. My skin needs quite a bit of help and just the thought of anyone coming anywhere near my face with a laser beam is a little unsettling to me. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Although I didn’t meet the personal trainer last week, I did begin my makeover journey by receiving a beauty consultation and posing for “before” photos. Any other day, the entire process would have been mortifying. I would never tell anyone every little detail about myself that is annoying and ugly and then let them photograph those ugly little details, but it was comforting to know that I will be able to look back at those photos a month from now and think, “we’ve come a long way, baby!”

I was also pleased to learn that the makeover package includes a spiritual-makeover program. The 21-day program focuses on learning to love yourself as one of God’s creations. A woman that does not love herself and value herself will not make it a priority to take care of her body. I do believe that I have a responsibility to take care of this healthy body that I have been blessed with and I’m excited about this aspect of the makeover program.

If you’d like to learn more about the spiritual makeover, you can visit the Renewing You website.

After you visit the website, say a little prayer for me that my personal training session won’t be a prime example of what happens when you don’t exercise at all after high school graduation.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Don't Forget To Watch!

You can watch me begin my makeover journey!

Visit the internet homepage for That's Life with Robin Swoboda at 10:00am Eastern Time on Friday, May 16 and watch the live streaming video.

Let me know what you think of my television debut!

The Clean Gene

Every once in awhile, I make a small effort to unclutter the house. Last night, I decided it was time to organize the magazine rack and pitch any publication that was more than 6 months old.

As I sorted through my collection, I thought it would be great fun to let David help me. We sat on the living room floor together and searched the magazines for photos of babies. Since my collection consists of Parenting, American Baby and Newsweek, it wasn’t too difficult to find a couple baby photos.

When that got old, Mommy thought it might be fun to tear up the magazines, crumple the pages, and throw the paper into the air like confetti. So Mommy and David ripped and crumple and threw and danced in the rain of magazine pages.

After a couple of moments of reckless abandon, David picked up a crumpled magazine page and toddled into the kitchen. A minute later, he reappeared, empty-handed. He gingerly selected another crumpled magazine page and toddled back into the kitchen. He repeated the process over and over again for the next 20 minutes.

He was taking the mess to the garbage can.

This just proves how fortunate we are to have a responsible child in the house to keep a watchful eye on his mischievous mother.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Siblings Without Rivalry

Little King David and Skywalker have been in love since the moment they met.

For more Wordless Wednesday, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Chocolate Addiction

I admit, I keep a stash of Hershey’s Bliss Dark Chocolate in my bedroom armoire. A girl needs to indulge from time to time, right?

Last weekend, David saw Mommy take a piece of chocolate from the stash. Since he has a primal instinct that forces him to taste everything that anyone eats, he naturally needed to taste the chocolate. Needless to say, he loved it and convinced Mommy to let him eat four pieces of it. I won’t disgust you with a description of his diaper contents the next day.

Last night, he grabbed Mommy by the hand and led her to the bedroom. He pointed to the armoire and signed “more.”

Mommy asked if David wanted chocolate. David nodded his head, “Yes! Yes!”

Mommy said, “I know you want chocolate. You can not have it.”

David threw himself on the floor and screamed.

I suppose addictions can be contagious after all…

Monday, May 12, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

There is a makeover update in the very near future, but I have to devote my blog post today to reliving my mother’s day celebration. This blog was intended to be all about the kid, remember?

Last year, I celebrated by getting pooped on first thing in the morning and I nursed David in public for the first time. The poop was disturbing because it happened after I dressed David in his fancy church outfit and the public nursing was disturbing because it occurred in a restaurant and my mother-in-law was there. I am not at all shy about nursing in public now, but I’ve grown a lot in the past twelve months. And my mother-in-law usually isn’t watching me.

Given the events of my first mother’s day, I assumed this year would be better. I was right!

My boys started the day by giving me gifts in bed. (don’t worry, this is a G-rated blog). David gave me a musical greeting card that played You Are My Sunshine. This brought a tear to my eye since it reminded me of those early days when I sang to David while he nursed. I was so impressed that Hubby remembered those moments, too!

David and Daddy also gave me my very first pair of diamond earrings. They’re beautiful!

By my standards, this is an indescribably thoughtful and extravagant gift. I’m the type of girl that buys her clothing at thrift stores and generally asks for practical kitchen appliances for Christmas. I always dreamed of getting jewelry, but I would never ask Hubby to spend that much money on me. We could be using that cash to remodel the bathroom.

I’m so glad he splurged this year. I feel so special!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Muscle Mama

My first makeover appointment is this afternoon, and I am so excited and nervous at the same time!

I’m meeting with a personal trainer today to review my workout routine. I was instructed to bring two, form-fitting gym outfits so the camera crew can record a few segments while I stumble through some exercise moves. The form-fitting gym clothes are important because the television audience needs to know just how chubby I am BEFORE the makeover begins.

First of all, do I look like a girl that owns a gym outfit? If I did own a gym outfit, do you really think it would be form-fitting? My current gym outfit consists of a pair of navy blue lounge pants that I pilfered from the Queen of Sheba’s closet because they haven’t been trendy enough for her to wear since she was in fourth grade. Those sexy pants are topped off by my very favorite Old Navy tee that was ruined by bleach spots a couple years back, but it is just too soft to part with. The girls hang out in a sports bra that makes them look like the clearance rack in a muffin bakery. The bra doesn’t exactly fit, but I haven’t had time to shop for anything else. I like to finish this ensemble with the traditional purple scrunchie, which is the only scrunchie that Skywalker hasn’t stolen, I mean, borrowed from me and never returned.

Secondly, how long will it take to review my workout routine? I started going to the YMCA last December and committed to working out on the treadmill three times a week. I’d run one mile on weeknights and two miles on weekends. That was a perfect arrangement until Hubby and Little King David got sick for about a week, then the gym got crowded, then I started feeling guilty about spending so much time away from home when I have a baby that already spends too much time away from me in daycare.

In my defense, I recently committed to walking one mile everyday during my lunchbreak at work. My goal is to walk 60 miles.

Luckily for me, this makeover will be the kick in the butt that I need to finally lose some of this baby weight. I’d hate to be the girl that appears on television six weeks later and actually GAINED weight. That would just be shameful.

Wish me luck! I’ll try not to look too goofy!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Vroom Vroom

Although I appear to be completely consumed with makeover plans recently, I assure you that I do still have a kid and he does still provide daily entertainment.

Little King David recently dove into toddlerhood head-first and he hasn’t looked back since. We’ve all heard those ominous warnings about the terrible twos. What people don’t tell you is that the terrible twos start approximately two weeks after your kid’s first birthday.

As if to prove that point, Little King David had a royal tantrum this morning. As we got ready to leave the house for work, David excitedly grabbed his shoes and chased Daddy to the door. He held his shoes up towards Daddy and exclaimed, “Vroom Vroom!!” Being the simple creatures that we are, Mommy and Daddy assumed that David wanted to help Daddy start the minivan and pull it out of the garage.

Awww, how cute!

Daddy put David’s shoes on for him and they headed out to the garage. Meanwhile, Mommy grabbed Daddy’s lunch box, locked the side door, dropped the lunch box into Daddy’s cargo van, and then realized that her own minivan was still parked in the garage.

As she got closer, she could hear the wails of frustration coming from the car seat.

Mommy: “What’s wrong?”

Daddy: “Do you know what a Vroom Vroom is?”

Mommy: “Sure I do. A Vroom Vroom is a car.”

Daddy: “Wrong. A Vroom Vroom is a lawnmower.”

David was ticked off because he wanted to mow the grass with Daddy.

At 7:15 a.m. on a Thursday morning.

I plan to remind him of this incident 13 years from now…

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


You all know that I lead an incredibly exciting life, which is obviously why you stop by my blog to read about it. Either that, or I am incredibly pathetic and you enjoy watching this drama unfold, much in the same way that neighbors gather in the middle of the night to watch a house burn to the ground.

Or maybe I’m being a little melodramatic.

I promised I would share with you the details of my five minutes of fame following my appearance on live broadcast local television this morning. Since you can prove that I made this promise because I was foolish enough to put it in writing, I feel obligated to share. I also asked you to vote for me in the Wow A Mom Makeover Contest, so you deserve to hear the agonizing details of my experience.

I got lost on my way to the television studio, I was reprimanded by the security guard at the front door because I drove through the parking lot gate behind another car rather than call him on the intercom, and I got lost trying to find my way inside the studio.

Once I finally got there, I met with the other two finalists. These women were so kind and their stories were so touching that I absolutely hoped that one of them would win the grand prize. I really didn’t want the embarrassment of having all the attention to myself and they both seemed like they really wanted to win. I was praying for them.

Once the show started, I quickly forgot that we were even on television. The host was so articulate and comfortable that she made us feel like we were chatting over coffee in her living room. The host introduced us all together, and we each had a one-on-one interview with her during the show. I’m in such a daze that I can’t even remember what she said to me or what embarrassing words might have escaped my mouth. Luckily for you, I taped the show, so I’ll watch it tonight and fill you in tomorrow.

The grand prize winner was announced at the end of the show and



It was me!

I won a complete make-over, which will include a personal fitness trainer, sessions with a beauty consultant, laser skin treatments, teeth whitening, and the typical hair, nails, and make-up. I also won free house cleaning service, tickets for a girls night out, and other prizes that they haven’t even explained to me yet!

I’m in complete awe.

The entire makeover process will take about six weeks and will be taped for my further embarrassment. I have an appointment with the personal trainer this Friday to begin my journey.

I’ll keep you all posted.

Thanks again for your votes!

Monday, May 5, 2008

What Was I Thinking?!!?

First of all, thank you so much to all of my devoted readers (both of you) for voting for me in the Mother’s Day Makeover Contest.

Second of all, why didn’t ya’ll stop me from doing something so reckless and potentially embarrassing?

I suppose you wouldn’t know from reading my blog that I am a relatively shy person. I’ve come a long way in my social development from the days in middle school where I was too petrified to open my mouth and speak in Sunday School class. I couldn’t even say hello without breaking out in a cold sweat.

I chilled out a little bit in high school when I finally realized that no one was really paying attention to me. College was a little easier since I was working as a waitress and folks simply expect their waitress to talk to them. That’s where I met my husband, and my social life just blossomed from there. Hubby is the kind of guy that meets someone in the grocery store and you would swear that they were long-lost childhood buddies. It’s like the thought never occurred to him that someone might not like him, so he never worries about whether or not people like him. I am so envious of his social finesse!

I’ve enjoyed many years of hubby-assisted social life, but I still get a little nervous about chatting with friends spontaneously on the phone or going out to dinner with other moms.

And now I have willingly entered myself in a contest that will require me to make an appearance on local television during a live broadcast.

Either I have experienced a period of remarkable personal growth or I had a temporary lapse of reason.

Pray for me tomorrow at 10:00am that I’ll get through this without saying something stupid. Then stayed tuned for the results of the contest!

Friday, May 2, 2008

My Funky Inner Hair Color

Since there is a makeover in my future (hopefully), I took the Funky Inner Hair Color test online. Evidently, I already have my true Funky Inner Hair Color.

How disappointing is that?!!?

Vote for me anyway! I want a makeover!

Your Hair Should Be Red

Passionate, fiery, and sassy.

You're a total smart aleck who's got the biggest personality around.

Last Chance to Vote!

If you came to this blog thinking that I’d be sharing amusing stories about my kid just because the site is called Baby Addiction, you’re certainly wrong this week. This week, it’s all about Mommy.

I entered a Mother’s Day Makeover Contest that is being hosted by a local television station, and now I’m wondering what the heck I was thinking. Maybe I was pondering the fact that I haven’t had a haircut since last June or maybe I was staring at my roots in the mirror wondering why they are such a pretty shade of brown, but the rest of my hair is red. Maybe I was seduced by the promise of FREE CLEANING SERVICE. What mother doesn’t deserve a maid? I’m embarrassed to admit that one of my son’s favorite hobbies is chewing on dust bunnies. I think he does it just to taunt me.

I entered this contest with very high hopes, but I just realized that I must appear on local television during a live broadcast to participate.


On television.

While people are watching.

Oh My God.

Since I’m committed to this now, please, please, please have pity on me. Don’t let me embarrass myself on local television! My co-workers are recording this on Tivo!

Today is the last day to vote. The contest allows one vote per email address per day, so if you have already voted, you can certainly vote again!

The contest finalists will be introduced during a live broadcast of That’s Life with Robin Swoboda on Tuesday, May 6 at 10:00am. The winner will be announced at the end of the show.

Go vote!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Bad Hair Life

We are THAT Family is hosting a bloggy carnival called Sincerely, ‘Fro Me To You, which is an opportunity for me to reminiscence in the blogosphere.

Today, I would like to share with you the tragedy that has been the life of my hair. I’m sure lots of girls have poodle-perm photos from the ‘80s that they don’t display prominently in frames in their living rooms, but I have a couple photos that are worse than that.

When I was growing up, my mother was anti-hair. She had six sisters, and that evidently led to a hatred of all things hairy. She despised hair in the bathtub drain and stray hair on the kitchen counter was her worst enemy. We were forbidden to even carry a hairbrush through the kitchen for fear that we might contaminate something. Consequently, my sister and I always had very short haircuts.

Not only was long hair forbidden, but I had several hair tragedies as a youngster. When I was 11 years old, my hair caught fire while I was trying to spray starter fluid into the intake manifold while my mom tried to start our ancient station wagon. (does it sound like I know what I’m talking about? I’m not really sure that’s where starter fluid is supposed to go, but that might explain the fire.)

After months and months of growing my hair out after that tragedy, my brothers came home from school with head lice. I suppose when you have four children and absolutely no patience, the only reasonable option would be to shave their heads bald. So, I wore a lot of hats during eighth grade. I did have one teacher that forced me to remove the hat once, but once she saw the devastation, she asked me to put my hat back on. She was the only teacher that asked, so my hair must have been the topic of conversation in the teacher’s lounge that day.

The life of my hair has improved significantly in the past few decades, but I would never decline an opportunity for a little hair help.

I’m one of three finalists for a Mother’s Day Makeover contest that is being hosted by a local television station. If you agree that I’ve had a bad hair life, please vote for me here!

You can read more Sincerely, ‘Fro Me To You at the We Are THAT Family blog.