Little Baby No, No

Just when I get the hang of this Mommy gig, the rules change. I am finally able to change a diaper, diagnose an ear infection, interpret the cause of any rash, translate Baby’s whines and cries, and keep track of 2, 348 balls and the appropriate toy each ball coordinates with. Just when I finally feel like a professional, now Baby changes the rules.

He needs DISCIPLINE.

No more carefree days of feeding, cleaning, and cooing.

Some of Baby’s recent hobbies include:

Hanging on the blinds on the picture window in the living room.

Turning on and off and on and off and on and off the 57” Projection Television that is one of Daddy’s most prized possessions.

Turning on and off and on and off and on and off the computer.

Flushing the toilet.

Removing all toilet paper from the roll and distributing throughout the house.

Unshelving every single book from his personal library.

Trying to stick his fingers in the pet mouse’s cage.

Dumping his toys into the pet tortoise’s habitat.

Opening the tortoise habitat and setting the inhabitant free.

WOW! I didn’t realize the list was so long until I started ticking off his recent offenses one by one.

So, you can see that Mommy and Daddy need to quickly develop an effective discipline strategy and implement it.

I’ll let you know the game plan, right after I untangle the blinds, reboot the computer, turn off the television, restock the bathroom and shut the door behind me, fish all the board books out from under the couch, and find the turtle.