Friday, August 22, 2008


You certainly know that I’m a baby addicted Mama, but I don’t brag about my stepmonster status very often. I don’t talk about it here very often because it is a role that fills me with frustration. It’s not even my teenage bonus daughters that vex me. It’s society in general.

Since school is starting next week, Hubby called their schools to provide his contact information and request their class schedules, open house schedules and information regarding parent teacher conferences.

Can someone explain to me why such a simple request is always met with hostility from school administrators? Why must they always be suspicious and defensive? Is there a good reason for the rudeness and dismissive attitudes we always encounter? Not only would you expect a father to be involved with his kids’ education, but he actually has a court order that allows him to be involved.

I believe that God gives children both a mother and a father because his divine plan was for a child to feel the love and support of both of those parents. If that’s true, why does our society dismiss the role of fathers as unnecessary and an inconvenient interruption to the status quo? Why is it that schools, daycare centers, and health care providers make it so difficult for divorced dads to remain involved with their kids? Shouldn’t the guitar teachers and soccer coaches be delighted to see all the parents at classes and practices? Shouldn’t dads feel welcome at ballet recitals and football games? Why do all these folks discourage participation from Dad’s and then society frowns on the deadbeat dads that aren’t involved with their kids?

Am I the only person on the planet that sees the paradox in these attitudes?

My vent is over, but the frustration is never-ending.


Heather @ Not a DIY Life said...

You would think that with absentee fathers who are so criticized, that everyone should be applauding a dad who wants and is involved in his kids' lives.

I guess it's good that they are protective of the kids' information, because there are parents who have abducted their own child because they were not allowed visitation or shared custody.

But is the administration not familiar with the family's situation? It's their JOB to be involved with their students' lives. Ah, that would be ideal, wouldn't it? That every administrator would take an interest in the students for whom they are responsible.

You are right to be upset. I would be too.

PBandJ said...

Working with kids and the public like I do, it is hard to fathom how parents could not want to be involved in their kids' lives, but lots of the time that is how it is. Most of the dads I encounter are manipulative, abusive and sometimes just do not care about their kids. It is hard when you get a dad that does care, because the first thing you wonder is "is this guy trying to manipulate... etc" It is too bad, but we have to think of the kids' safety first, even safety from their parents.
I do not think that this should apply to a school where the parents and kids do not have criminal issues, but I can see where these officials are coming from, sometimes.